Inkotica

Image provided by Hello kuso! under a CC licence.

Everyone has a clown within them
even if buried somewhere deep down inside

Some of us wear our clowns on our sleeves
always joking, making witty remarks

I noticed a man once, when I was a small child
An ordinary man dressed in brown slacks and a white shirt
He’d drawn a crowd with his jovial sales pitch
His costume was invisible yet obvious

Others keep their clowns hidden, masked,
laughing on the inside only

Others still are more twisted, dark and sultry
with jagged teeth and demon eyes

I suspect yours is the dark and twisted type
I see it in your eyes, hear it in your speech

Your wit comes out in sly snaps and snarls
Your jokes are barked at unsuspecting innocents
Your mouth with its jagged teeth is a weapon
in some secret war against humanity

Your
clown
scares
me.

You fucked me
in the usual way

Fast, selfish and unsensuous

I couldn’t wait
for you to finish

I wanted a cigarette

They never fail
to satisfy me

Where you can’t

They will kill me
but so will you

You inspire boredom

My muse has left me
abandoned against the wall
of silence

where the wind lashes my face
and reminds me how
barren my mind is

how fickle is my muse
to be carried off on a whim
like that

without a thought for her dependant,
without a minutes grace
or reflection.

I stare at the wall.

It glares back.

I hate it when you look at me that way.
There’s an expectancy on your face
yet I don’t know how to fulfill it.
You don’t give any clues away.

You look as though you’re injured, lost
and want me to fix it.
I need some help here.
You have to tell me what needs fixing.

All I ever get is silence.

They don’t realise how lonely it is
on the outside.

They pushed me to it, cheered me on
and smiled.

They think I obtained it all
on my escape.

W
R
O
N
G

I have less now than when I was sat with them
on the inside.

At least then I had somebody to share
moments with.

Now I have nothing except my reflection keeping me company.
It’s lonely on the

O
U
T
S
I
D
E